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Some tornado terms2003-07-09 12:30:52n99nt


Fujita Scale: Scale used to measure wind speeds of a tornado and their severity. F1: Laughable little string of wind unless it comes through your house, then enough to make your insurance company drop you like a brick. People enjoy standing on their porches to watch this kind. F2: Strong enough to blow your car into your house, unless of course you drive an Expedition and live in a mobile home, then strong enough to blow your house into your car. F3: Will pick your house and your Expedition up and move you to the other side of town. F4: Usually ranging from 1/2 to a full mile wide, this tornado can turn an Expedition into a Pinto, then gift wrap it in a semi truck. F5: The Mother of all Tornadoes, you might as well stand on your front porch and watch it, because it's probably going to be quite a last sight. Storm Chaser: Meteorologist-rejects who are pretty much insane but get us really cool pictures of tornadoes. We release them from the mental institution every time it starts thundering, just to see what they'll do. May-June: Tourist season in Oklahoma, when people who are tired of bungee jumping and diving out of airplanes decide it might be fun to chase a tornado. These people usually end up on Fear Factor. Cars: The worst place to be during a tornado (next to a mobile home). Yes, you can out run a tornado in your car...unless everybody on the road decides to do the same thing, and then you're in grid lock. A Ditch: Supposedly where you're supposed to go if you find yourself without shelter or in your car during a tornado. Theoretically the tornado is supposed to pass right over you, but since it can lift a 20 ton truck and up root a three hundred year old tree, I'd bet my life on out-running it in a car. Mobile Home: Most people are convinced mobile homes send off some strange signal that triggers tornadoes, because if there's one mobile home park in a hundred mile radius, the tornado will find it. Twister: Slang for 'tornado' and also the title to a movie starring Helen Hunt, which incidentally everyone thought was corny and unrealistic until May 3rd, 1999. Power Flash: One of the most reliable ways to track a tornado at night. It's the term used when the tornado hits a power line and a bright light flashes. It's also the emotion experienced by meteorologists when they get to make the call to interrupt prime-time must-see t.v. and a million dollars worth of advertising to track a storm for viewers.