"Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in," says the woman.
"Well, I'd like to," replies St. Peter, "but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is to have you spend one day in Hell and one day in Heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."
"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in Heaven," says the politician.
"I'm sorry, but we have our rules," retorts St. Peter. And with that, St. Peter escorts her to the elevator, sending her down, down, down to Hell.
The doors open and she finds herself in the middle of a verdant golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all her chronies.
Grinning widely, they run to greet her and openly reminisce about the good ole days when they got rich at the expense of their tax-paying constituents. They play a friendly game of golf and then donning semi-formal attire, they dine on caviar and lobster. Also present is the Devil, really a very friendly guy, who has a good time dancing and telling jokes.
Enjoying the festivities, she loses track of time. But, after a hug and a wave from her friends, she must get back into the elevator.
The elevator goes up, up, up until the door finally reopens in Heaven where St. Peter is waiting for her. It is her turn to spend 24-hours visiting Heaven.
The politician joins a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing harps and singing. Before long, 24-hours has gone by and St. Peter returns.
"Well, you've spent a day in Hell and another day in Heaven. Now choose the place where you want to spend eternity," St. Peter tells her.
She reflects for only a moment, then answers, "Well, I never would have said it. I mean, Heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in Hell."
So, St. Peter escourts her to the elevator once again and she goes down, down, down to Hell. The doors of the elevator open thrusting her into a barren land covered with waste and garbage. She sees all of her friends dressed in rags picking up the trash and putting it into black bags. And it's hot, hot, hot. Swelteringly hot. Hot and miserable.
The Devil comes over to her and lays his arm on her neck.
"I don't understand," stammers the politician. "Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse. I danced and had caviar and lobster with my friends. We had a great time. Now there is a wasteland full of misery."
The Devil looks at her, grins in only the way he knows how, then says, "Yesterday we were campaigning...today you voted for us."
(Some internet humor; author unknown.)
Comments